The time I nearly eclipsed Buffett...

Cliffs/TLDR:
Be me, want to be rich to get with white, blonde women
Make life changing money through Crypto
Make friends with other Crypto investors
One of these friends is rich, gets us into an exclusive ICO
He's full of shit, we lose money
Hopes of white women gone
Or are they?

I just wanted to start off by saying that unfortunately my username is untrue - and this is, sadly, one of the many instances where this has been the case. It's early 2018, despite the dip, everyone remains optimistic on crypto. "Crypto's the future of the world', "All Alts are gonna go PARABOLIC", "We're on the fourth Elliot Wave, just wait for the fifth one! - you couldn't go over a day without hearing phrases such as these. I was in a trading group, a small group of 10 guys. We'd only known each other for 6 months but it felt like a lifetime given what had happened during the time period. We'd all been there, together, when our portfolios had seemingly gone up 10x overnight, and we were all there when 50% of that was wiped away in a few hours. We'd done winning ICOs together, and we'd done (many less) losing ICOs together. Needless to say, there was a decent amount of trust, even though we'd never met each other. 


Our group was quite a diversified group. We had a few large traders from Australia, one from England, a few from middle Europe and the rest were Canadians. All of us had a decent trading stack and felt that it was inevitable that we'd all be millionaires - or for some, even billionaires. One of our Canadians, Dampy Churro, claimed to have a few thousand BTC. He'd done a few ICOs with us for large size so we never questioned his legitimacy. He was very much the 'whale' of the group. Dampy was a guy who'd gotten into Cryptocurrency extremely early and rode the upwave. He'd told us stories about how he and his other friends were looking into acquiring a big bank and effectively printing their own money via cross-currency arbitrage. Dampy and his buddies got into all the hottest ICOs through their connections; knowing Dampy would surely get us rich.


That big moment finally came in May 2018. Dampy had secured us the motherload - allocation into an ICO that was 'guaranteed' to start trading at 20x the ICO price. The ICO was Helbiz, the future of transportation. Their mission: everyone in the world would be riding on electrical scooters, all powered by the magnificent BLOCKCHAIN; impressive I know...The public sale was a flop but Dampy was great friends with the founder of the project and was assured us that the founder's word was as good as gold. Dampy gave us the exclusive allocation, and we were like piranhas to a corpse. I, myself, invested a few hundred thousand. I'd already planned in my head what to do once the Helbiz was released for trading. I'd move away from Mumbai and travel the world, 'sleeping' with all the blonde women who would have this wealthy young bachelor.


I think, by now, we can all see where this story is going... 


The ICO, which was promised to launch at 20x our investment price, instead launched at 20%. Dampy assured us that this was meant to happen and that the 'buying' would start very shortly. So, naturally, we all bought more. We were getting a bargain! Now the idea of having multiple blonde women at a time was a mere formality with the riches i'd have. The only problem? The price never went up, instead it just went down, and went down quickly at that. Soon my few hundred thousand dollars, effectively all my life savings, had been reduced to a few hundred dollars. Dampy could no longer get in touch with the founders, and was being much less responsive to us. We were devastated... The hopes of my white princess a long distant dream away...or so I thought... maybe sometimes things do happen for the best..

dg3vpz.jpg
*Pic may be unrelated